If you give a mom a coffee she will soon need to potty.
On her way, she will walk by the baby and realize she needs a diaper change.
When she finishes the diaper change she will discover that the pail is full and needs to be taken out.
While, she is gone, the preschooler and the grade-schooler will begin to fight.
When she returns she will have to referee and send them to time-out, but the preschooler will argue that he cannot go to time out because he needs to potty.
This will remind the mother that she, too, needs to potty.
While waiting for the child to go, the mother will discover some underwear and pants that the toddler has had an accident in and take them to the laundry room.
When she goes into the laundry room, the buzzer will sound, so she will empty the dryer.
All that bending will really make her need to potty, so she will hurry down the hall.
The toddler will chase after her. He will fall and scrape his knee.
She will scoop him up and continue on to the bathroom and after applying a band-aid to the knee she will turn to the toilet and discover the preschooler has used entirely too much toilet paper and plugged the toilet.
The mother will begin to plunge the toilet.
Once the plunger has worked its magic, she will finally plunk down, exhausted, to go potty.
And chances are, she will think to herself that she could really use another coffee!
I am the mother of seven children ranging from teens to a toddler, living out in the middle of nowhere, USA. I aim to hone the craft of giving advice without pretending to have this whole mom thing figured out. I am Christian, but not the really nice kind that is good at it. I am also conservative, but I promise not to be in your face with political agendas very often. I like to infuse humor into my writing, so don't freak out if you are offended or appalled by what you read here. There is a very fine line between serious advice and sarcastic hyperbole.
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